the 2019 Copa América is a wreck!

2019/06/25 3:21 AM (UTC -5) | tildearrow

Uruguay just beat Chile, and both Japan and Ecuador detonated themselves.

and this is very sad to hear, because:

• Brazil killed us in our last group stage match by 5 goals, which means we qualify but in third place...
• Uruguay beating Chile means we'll have to fight Uruguay and oh NOT THIS AGAIN!!! every time we have to deal with Uruguay we never (and by this i mean seriously NEVER) defeat them, losing by a large margin. this means, we'll be knocked out in quarter-finals...
• the Japan-Ecuador match would have determined who was going to qualify for the knockout stage, but, heck, it was a draw. and what does this mean? both teams are gone, with Paraguay taking place...
• and Paraguay IS NO FUN because I absolutely guarantee they *WILL* lose against Brazil in the upcoming match plus they're so boring that, seriously, I'm NOT going to watch the match when it comes because I know well what's gonna happen...
• at least Japan does real football. they REALLY take the game to the next level with a never-seen-before performance and tricks, such as rear passes, or passing behind the opponent's legs! or even intentionally passing the ball to the opponent and exploiting the fact they're distracted to get them to accidentally pass the ball to you...
• Venezuela became harder to defeat, and Argentina is decaying... (it was pure luck they qualified)
• Chile has a fetish on hating us which means that if we do get through quarter-finals (although almost impossible) this will turn into a flamewar between announcers...
• Colombia is strong, but they may-
• OH COME ON NOT CHILE-URUGUAY AGAIN
• *cue in the brazil-argentina rivalry for the Nth time*

conclusion, winner of the 2019 Copa América: Chile or Uruguay. yeah, I said that. Brazil has lost most of its respect after that 7-1 five years ago (oh, the memories)...

pffffffffffff